I thought this was cute. Enjoy.
If a Republican doesn’t like marijuana, he tries to criminalize it.
If a Democrat doesn’t like marijuana, he doesn’t buy or use it.
If a Republican isn’t a homosexual, he tries to criminalize homosexuality.
If a Democrat isn’t a homosexual, he doesn’t engage in it.
If a Republican doesn’t like what’s on TV, he complains to the FCC.
If a Democrat doesn’t like what’s on TV, he changes the channel.
If a Republican thinks getting an abortion is immoral, he tries to criminalize it.
If a Democrat thinks getting an abortion is immoral, she won’t get one.
If a Republican believes in God, he demands that everybody believes only in his God.
If a Democrat believes in God, he respects other people’s faiths.
If a Republican wants his children to go to a better school, he wants a government voucher system so they can go to a different school.
If a Democrat wants his children to go to a better school, he tries to improve his neighborhood school.
If a Republican likes guns, he ignores the first thirteen words of the Second Amendment and demand the ability to have a loaded concealed automatic weapon in a crowd to see the Prez .
If a Democrat likes guns, he buys a gun and only uses it when necessary.
If a Republican is a victim of a disaster, he demands that the local, state and federal governments help save him.and complains about big government
If a Democrat is a victim of a disaster, he tries to help others worse off.
If a Republican reads this, he’ll delete it because he can’t believe any of these things are bad.
If a Democrat reads this, he’ll forward it because he knows that Conservatives want everybody to be just like him.
**********Update 7/31/10************
Lo and behold there’s also a Republican version with this. Equally funny. Thanks Scott (by the way, I omitted the last line…it was over the top
).
If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.
If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for e…veryone.
If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
Democrats demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a Republican is concerned with oil dependence, he limits his energy use and looks
for alternative energy sources.
A Democrat will demand that no one use any oil.
If a Republican reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Democrat will delete it and say it’s racist because he’s “offended”.